Human maxi pad is on his way to achieving his dream
Last month, we introduced you to Pad Gardner, the Florida man whose dream in life is to become a disposable feminine pad.
Pad’s goal is simple: He wants to serve his purpose—that is, spend a night doing what a maxi pad does—and then live out the remainder of his days as a used feminine product. In the meantime, he’s been busy. He recently embarked on a cross-country campaign to raise awareness about Toxic Shock Syndrome; and he’s been trying, unsuccessfully so far, to hold the official world record for the largest personal collection of feminine hygiene products.
But these are only stepping stones to his ultimate goal, and now it appears he may have reached it:
A pad company has offered to make me into a disposable pink pad. :)— Pad Gardner (@TheFemininePad) May 27, 2013
There’s no word from Pad on which company has offered to help Pad make the transition, or how exactly they intend to carry it off. “I'm scared to be worn for a period, but i still want to be forced to become a feminine pad,” wrote Pad on his Facebook, a few days before yesterday’s big announcement. Another status update from the same day suggests that he or the company might have in mind some kind of feminine product memorial in his honor.
Given the lack of specificity involved, it’s no surprise that he’s having a bit of an existential crisis:
Do i still qualify as a guy, or am i a female product now?— Pad Gardner (@TheFemininePad) May 27, 2013
He’s also shown flashes of blood-related humor:
Pad has never presented his goal as a sexual fetish (he believes in a subset of Tantric religion that worships the vagina), but he did recently state a fondness for the body part he’s serving as a huge part of the appeal:
Cooters are so amazingly beautiful. Pads are so lucky.— Pad Gardner (@TheFemininePad) May 27, 2013
And he’s already gearing up for his new life, despite his understandable fears.
My only job in life now is to get bloody. At least its an easy job, and perfect for me.— Pad Gardner (@TheFemininePad) May 28, 2013
Ultimately, whether Pad is a Man or a Maxi, in the end he’s a dreamer, just like you and me.
You might say he’s more than just a pad—he’s a pad with wings.