No, you can't get a live turkey shipped to you on Thanksgiving

The largest populations of trans people live in Southern states with awful laws
A survey finds there are 1.4 million trans people in the U.S.—but there are likely more.

See all Editor's Picks

turkeyefowl
The proprietor of eFowl, the Internet's premier live-bird shipping service, says you can only get live turkey shipments in spring or summer.

Each Thanksgiving, as your grandmother slaves over the same genetically-engineered Butterball she’s cooked for years, are you ever tempted to make the holiday a little more modern?

Are you tempted, say, to order a live turkey to be shipped to your door for you to slaughter for your family on Thanksgiving eve?

That desire happens all the time to visitors to eFowl.com, one the Internet’s premier sites for ordering living birds to be shipped by mail to Americans for the explicit purpose of consumption. But alas, those orders never ship: eFowl only sends out birds in the spring and early summer.

“We receive the request quite frequently,” Austin Johnson, eFowl’s founder, told the Daily Dot. “[But] we do not offer grown turkeys around Thanksgiving time.”

Perhaps that’s for the best. Though birds are cheap, and eFowl encourages users to mix and match turkeys, chickens, and ducks however customers desire, the company requires orders to be a minimum of 15 birds per shipment. That means someone who wants a Broad Breasted Bronze, for instance, and is willing to spend $116 to get one, could end up with an entire gang of turkeys.

Of course, if you did that, you could play president with the extra 14.

“I've never heard of a customer pardoning a turkey,” Jackson said. “However, I'm sure it happens quite frequently, as customers can easily become attached to their poultry.”

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

Promoted Stories Powered by Sharethrough
Society
Facebook shocked that a woman runs I F*cking Love Science
When the owner of the most popular science page on Facebook revealed her identity the other day, the reaction was sadly predictable. "OMG GIRL," came the crescendo of comments from dumbfounded men (and a few women). It was as if Elise Andrew had infiltrated a 19th century scientific conference and suddenly ripped off a fake mustache in front of the assembled muttering menfolk. Cue pipes falling from open mouths. Shock! Awe! A woman!
Society
From the music factory that gave us "Friday," "It's Thanksgiving"
Do we have the next Rebecca Black on our hands? Nicole Westbrook does for holidays what Black did for the days of the week with her new song “It’s Thanksgiving,” released on Thursday.
Group

Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.

Thanks for subscribing to our newsletter!