Each Thanksgiving, as your grandmother slaves over the same genetically-engineered Butterball she’s cooked for years, are you ever tempted to make the holiday a little more modern?

Are you tempted, say, to order a live turkey to be shipped to your door for you to slaughter for your family on Thanksgiving eve?

That desire happens all the time to visitors to eFowl.com, one the Internet’s premier sites for ordering living birds to be shipped by mail to Americans for the explicit purpose of consumption. But alas, those orders never ship: eFowl only sends out birds in the spring and early summer.

“We receive the request quite frequently,” Austin Johnson, eFowl’s founder, told the Daily Dot. “[But] we do not offer grown turkeys around Thanksgiving time.”

Perhaps that’s for the best. Though birds are cheap, and eFowl encourages users to mix and match turkeys, chickens, and ducks however customers desire, the company requires orders to be a minimum of 15 birds per shipment. That means someone who wants a Broad Breasted Bronze, for instance, and is willing to spend $116 to get one, could end up with an entire gang of turkeys.

Of course, if you did that, you could play president with the extra 14.

“I've never heard of a customer pardoning a turkey,” Jackson said. “However, I'm sure it happens quite frequently, as customers can easily become attached to their poultry.”

Photo via Wikimedia Commons