Freya can't accept the truth. Tim was impotent in Bognor because he was "exhausted fucking Tia." Freya's prone to lying about pregnancy. Tim has a dodgy past that includes playing in a renegade rock band.
Together and for years, the two have juggled a volatile relationship that disintegrated on a Scotland train to the tune of more twists and turns than an episode of The Young & The Restless.
Fortunately, Janey Godley was there to capture the fallout. In a series of 102 tweets, the Scottish comedian recounted the trials and tribulations of this juicy breakup to her 9,000-plus followers.
This isn’t the first time a breakup has been live-tweeted by a bystander. Twitter user Andy Boyle did something similar from a Burger King last November.
But Godley took a slightly different path. She stuck mostly to the facts, only offering personalized commentary during the issues surrounding Freya's pending pregnancy and whether or not she should take a morning after pill.
It starts in Glasgow and ends in Oxenham, and it gets better with every tweet.
Photo via Twitter