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How Gov. Chris Christie saved Halloween (and New Jersey)

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The rains have washed down and the winds have mostly subsided, and after 24 hours of #hurricanesandy chaos, the Internet has found itself one clear winner: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and his party-sized penchant for goodwill.

The rising Republican sprung into action Monday directly from his Twitter feed, writing that the federal government had issued an emergency declaration for the entirety of New Jersey.

"Federal aid will be made available to state to supplement our response efforts," he wrote.

Christie then offered emergency phone lines and brought down statewide speed limits before telling the "kids at home" that "there is no reason to be scared.

"The adults are taking care of business," Christie offered, much to the delight of all the Garden State children who follow their governor on Twitter.

From there, Christie shifted to hyper-speed tweets, posting messages at a once-a-minute clip.

He lambasted New Jersey natives who didn't heed his call to evacuatepromoted TV spots, and bragged about having President Obama on speed dial.

At one point, the governor even declared himself more powerful than Halloween itself.

In 24 hours, Christie posted 62 tweets and retweeted 15 other messages, which has to be a record for a government official not named Dan Gordon. Christie's sentiment throughout has been reminiscent of a tweet sent this morning: "I don't give a damn about Election Day after what has happened here. I am worried about the people of New Jersey."

Such roguery was enough to inspire a hearty round of online patronizing, which would have been sufficient had it began and ended with the following GIF from mlkshk user darth, but it extended well into the netherworlds of online gossip.

Photo via CorvetteBeth/Twitter