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Infinity reasons not to download Chris Brown's new app

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Team Breezy must be on cloud nine right now. Chris Brown has a new smartphone app that is all about him, all the time, forever and ever. 

The app's billed as a way to keep up with the singer 24/7, rolling in his tweets, photos, videos, and music. Some fans will have the opportunity to chat with him one-on-one, and he has control over the content that appears in the app.

"I am so excited to get closer to my fans—to bring them into my world, hearing from me directly, in my own words wherever I am, whenever they want," Brown said in a statement. "Through my channel app, they can be part of my music, my art and my life, day in and day out."

"My own words" is the key phrase here. Brown has complained that he feels misunderstood and that the media, not his violent attack, strained his relationship with ex-girlfriend Rihanna. Here's his chance to interact with Team Breezy without having to threaten to shart in the eye of any critics.

Before you get into the app, you'll need to give Brown and his management team access to your Facebook and/or Twitter account, or provide your email address. 


 

Once you're in, you'll be treated to Brown's music videos and clips he's sharing with fans. When we tested it out, the first screen showed the message: "Welcome to my Channel. We can hang here anytime, anywhere, wherever we are in the world. Dope right?" Yes, Chris.

That welcome message had 3,454 "stars" (akin to likes or favorites), and more than 1,300 comments within 15 minutes of its posting. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of criticism in the comments; it's all Team Breezy members saluting their hero. It should be noted that Brown and his team have full control over the app, so any dissenting commenters may get short shrift.


 

His face is everywhere in the app, gurning out at fans who follow his every move. No paintings of Jesus with a six-pack just yet, but maybe we'll see more of his art soon.

Brown was sentenced to five years' probation and six months' community service after assaulting Rihanna in 2009. He quit Twitter for a while after a spat with Jenny Johnson in which he, incredibly enough, made misogynistic comments. It was nice to be rid of him for a while. And yet, it's harder to get rid of Brown than it is a cockroach. He resurfaced on Twitter and Instagram soon after, unfortunately.

Brown may largely use his app (or channel or whatever you want to call it) to keep in touch with fans from now on. If we could just lock him in there and keep him away from the rest of the Internet, that'd be smashing.

H/T USA Today | Photo via the Chris Brown Channel