igor strelkov

This Ukrainian separatist leader is the star of a very NSFW Amazon ebook

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Question: How informed are you about the current situation in Ukraine? Well, read up if you want to understand the literary context of “Sucking Strelkov,” a 22-page ebook detailing the (fictional, we’re asusming) erotic same-sex adventures of Russian separatist military commander Igor Strelkov. Seriously, if there was ever a reason to watch CNN, this is it.


 

Here’s a brief summary of the ebook, which is free on Kindle unlimited but costs $1.95 on Amazon:

5,7 thousand words long, Sucking Strelkov is the story of a chance encounter with one of the most evil men in Europe. Contains depictions of rough M/M intercourse that may be found offensive. DRM-free. Lending is possible; share with your friends!

In short, “Sucking Strelkov” tells the story of a western European film crew who come to Donetsk, a Ukrainian city widely considered the hub of the pro-Russian separatist movement in eastern Ukraine, to shoot a gay porno. (It’s unclear why the crew considers Donetsk a more appropriate setting for a gay-porn shoot, as opposed to, say, an infinity pool at some rich daddy’s mansion in Calabasas. But I suppose the author of a Ukrainian-separatist gay-porn Kindle single is just as entitled to poetic license as the rest of us.)

I read eight pages of it. Here’s what happens.

When they arrive in Donetsk, the crew has a run-in with Strelkov, who becomes convinced they are spies. So how does he get them to prove they’re not? By forcing the crew’s cameraman to perform oral sex on a separatist guard, which later devolves—or evolves, depending on your perspective—into a full-blown steamy gay Ukrainian separatist orgy. (Here’s a link to an excerpt, which is obviously NSFW.)

But that’s not to say that “Sucking Strelkov” is all fun and games, or borscht and babka. The book also features political commentary, as indicated by Strelkov’s initial refusal to participate in the filmed gay soldier orgy:

“Gay sex is very legal in Ukraine right now. But in Russia … is very very forbidden. When peace come and rule of law restored, is no good having video evidence for sale all over Internet. Blackmailers, da?”

Da.

Although the author of “Sucking Strelkov” refers to himself as “I. Van der Woude” (allegedly a reference to Van der Woude Syndrome, a congenital disorder that results in a cleft palate), we know little else about its provenance.

It is, however, clearly intended as a way to smear Strelkov, a retired officer of Russia’s Federal Security Service and a historical reenactor who is thought to be the driving force behind the ongoing pro-Russian unrest in the Ukraine. The author’s physical description of Strelkov is particularly grotesque, repeatedly referring to his “short little mustache that made him look like a cross between a pig and Adolf Hitler” and his “rather small cock.”

Is “Sucking Strelkov” erotic? Nope, absolutely not. Is anyone gonna get off to it anytime soon? Boy, I hope not. That having been said, if you want to brush up on your knowledge of the current political situation in the Ukraine, and you want to get the anti-Ukrainian separatist perspective, reading “Sucking Strelkov” is certainly one way to go about it. 

H/T Queerty | Screengrab via seth justseth/YouTube