With hundreds of millions of tweets per day, it’s impossible to follow everything happening on Twitter. Every Friday, the Daily Dot rounds up notable Twitter news and stories from the past week—in 140 characters or fewer.

  • Twitter chairman Jack Dorsey's parents aren't verified. They sure want to be, though.

  • Twitter is coming to Google Glass. "OK Glass, tweet ‘Ow, I didn't notice that lamppost,’" you may soon hear everywhere.

  • Homebodies are less happy than those who flee far from the coop, a study suggests.

  • How does Guinness taste? Twitter was on the case, with community members describing the flavor.

  • The Los Angeles Dodgers had a message as fine as rich mahogany for the San Diego Padres after the teams got in a brawl.

This week's notable new users: Bill Clinton is kinda, sorta on Twitter now.

Photo of the week: This is apparently Justin Bieber's bodyguard. With his own bodyguard. The Cult of Bieber endures. (@BoyBelieber994)