Director Michael Bay’s directorial eyes have settled on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) franchise, and Reddit’s inner child is screaming in horror.
Bay has inspired the lingering resentment of ’80s geeks by taking the beloved Transformers cartoon and turning it into a sleek, computer-generated action sequence that somehow carried on for seven hours and three movies.
The director’s latest heresy against childhood geekdom? Changing the origin story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
The ninja turtles, in case you were not alive or hated fun cartoons in the 1990s, was a wildly popular animated series based on the comic books by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman. There were movies, toys, video games, lunchboxes, and backpacks. If it existed, there was TMNT merchandise for it.
One thing that should be rather inflexible about the mutant ninja turtles: they’re mutants. It’s in the name. In the comics, the turtles accidentally got doused in radioactive goo that transformed the four characters into ass-kicking superheroes.
But Bay, who’s a producer on the film, wants to change all that.
He wants to make them space aliens.
“These turtles are from an alien race and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable,” Bay said in a speech on March 15.
Cue the Reddit outrage.
“Clicking on that link was an emotionally devastating experience for me,” Awkwark_Facts wrote in the thread at Reddit’s r/Movies, where more than 720 comments sprouted up attacking Bay.
“There is not a single remotely decent human being defending his decision,” mahirito posited.
“No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” michaeldraven observed
Who will save the heroes in a half shell? Reddit successfully boycotted hosting company GoDaddy in January after it came out in support of the Stop Online Piracy Act. GoDaddy was allegedly supporting Internet censorship; Michael Bay is ripping apart childhood memories. Which offends you more, Reddit?