Warning: The following story contains sexually explicit language.

Guccifer, the hacker (or hackers) who leaked George Bush’s monstrous paintings and private messages from the accounts of everyone from Hillary Clinton to Colin Powell to John Doerr, has struck again. 

This time, the AOL-loving gentleman has hit Roy Apseloff. Yes, that Roy Apseloff. (I kid. I kid because I love.) 

Most people had never heard of Mr. Apseloff, a 32-year veteran of the Defense Intelligence Agency, until today. Now, he’s the sexiest spook in tarnation. 

What Guccifer hacked were Mr. Apseloff’s sexy, sexy emails. And also intelligent, articulate correspondence which cogently assessed political issues, including the president’s problems dealing with Republican sidelining. 

But mostly sexy, sexy emails. He has a girlfriend. He is a big fan. His “cock” is a big fan of her “hot pussy” and of her “fantastic blowjobs” and so on and so forth in that manner. 

As Gawker, a recipient of the hacked material, noted, Apseloff, who retired from the DIA a month ago, spent 32 years not manning a desk and serving time but running the DIA’s media exploitation center, “where intercepted documents were processed and analyzed for intelligence use.” He then served as the agency's Deputy CIO, where he supervised an IT staff of more than 3,000, with a budget of $1 billion, which supported 20,000 government and intelligence customers and more.

And he got hacked. 

So, you know. Make sure you update your Windows Firewall!

H/T Gawker | Photo by Romana Klee/Flickr