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Out-of-touch conservative pundits are literally ‘Simpsons’ characters

Pick a winner.

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April Siese

Internet Culture

Posted on May 27, 2016   Updated on May 26, 2021, 5:09 pm CDT

Ross Douthat is a Harvard-educated conservative columnist for the New York Times. In the past few months, he was perhaps best roasted for being deadass wrong about presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump and many other presidential candidates.

It’s one thing for forecasters to have to dial back their rational predictions in the face of a disintegrating conservative party. Douthat’s wrongness wasn’t based on numbers and algorithms, though. The 36-year-old pens opinion pieces teeming with Republican passion (no, not that Republican passion). This is all heart and zero smarts.

After roundly mocking his bunk predictions, many thought there was nothing left to lampoon, that this was merely a case of “been there, Dou-that.” That is, until Twitter user hero @RalphDouthat came onto the scene.

This is an actual quote from the man himself, dating back to his college years, when he was profiled by the Harvard Crimson in a piece called “Move Over Limbaugh.” Its sub-headline is an incomplete sentence, which is pretty much what reading Douthat feels like: an incoherent mad lib.

Looking at screenshots of Simpsons episodes juxtaposed against real Douthat headlines is far easier on the eyes than taking into account the fact that the Gray Lady decided to employ Ralph Wiggum in human form to replace Bill Kristol.

Those who simply know Douthat from his Twitter presence can still get enjoyment out of @RalphDouthat thanks to its colorful reimagining of the man behind the tweets.

And it appears that no New York Times pundit is safe from @RalphDouthat. The role of Douthat’s real-life predecessor will be played by Sideshow Bob, according to a Twitter poll.

Did he really Douthat? He did.

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*First Published: May 27, 2016, 1:41 pm CDT

April Siese

A former Weekend Editor at the Daily Dot, April Siese's reporting covers everything from technology and politics to web culture and humor. Her work has been published by Bustle, Uproxx, Death and Taxes, Rolling Stone, the Daily Beast, Thrillist, Atlas Obscura, and others. Siese joined Quartz in December 2016.

April Siese