Fornicating badgers, eagle barbecues, and junior park rangers lost in the line of duty. All of these absurd topics came out of Skunk River National Park, one of the most popular federal parks on Twitter. The only problem is it's not real.
But the park's 17,000 followers are finding out the spoof Twitter feed of the “largest fictitious national park in the Pacific Northwest” is hilarious. So much so that the fake account, @SkunkRiverNPS, established earlier this year, has gained more followers than some of the National Park Service's most iconic sites, including the Grand Canyon and Glacier National Park.
The specifics of the park are few, but the 127 tweets produced since February show the park was established in 1913 (happy centennial!) and it's on the coast, in the Cascades, probably in Oregon or Washington. The park is home to a population of beached whales, North America's fattest bears, plenty of skunks and it's largest mammal, Ranger Marjorie. It was created by legislation signed by “devoted skunk enthusiast” President Woodrow Wilson.
Reading @SkunkRiverNPS shows that 2013 has been a busy year for the park. Some of the highlights have included...
“Wilderness survival tip #32: To deter bears from attacking your tent, simply sprinkle your neighbor's campsite with bacon powder.”
“We'll be dynamiting the beached whales in Sandy Cove tonight. Join us for a fun-filled evening of exploding cetaceans and delicious sushi.”
“Hats off to our own Ranger Jeb 'Lightning Rod' Stuart, who today became the 1st person ever to be struck by lightning 7 times… on his penis.”
“Skunk River is home to 75 species of mammal and 200 species of bird and for the modest cost of a license you can hunt them all.”
“The Park Service accepts no responsibility for visitors who manage to scald their genitals on a geyser.”
As of this week, the spoof account had more than 17,700 followers, more than the Grand Canyon and Glacier Park which have 10,000 and 13,000 respectively. Maybe the parks Ken Burns once called “America's best idea” could learn a thing or two from Skunk River. That's the same park that Burns allegedly called “America's smelliest idea.”
Photo via Robert Scoble/Flickr