The entire point of fast food restaurants’ drive-through experience, we’d all agree, is the incredible convenience. Even if there’s a glitch with the intercom system or we have to root around in the cupholder for exact change, it’s low-stakes, low-hassle, and likely to produce delicious results.
All of this makes the late-night McDonald’s saga of a man named Josh Raby all the more stunning. It started, innocently enough, with a milkshake craving—but it spiraled out of control from there.
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719404248803491840
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719404433164144640
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719405230237040640
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719405607019810816
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719405899345997826
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719406203785342976
This is about when most of us would have cut our losses and started looking for a nearby Wendy’s. Not Raby, though. He was in it to win it.
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719406645529485312
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719406945086676992
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719407811487264768
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719408331748675584
Oh, no. Oh god, no.
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719408716911665153
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719409159402364929
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719409819300536320
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719410016990666753
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719410525227065344
Is it just me, or are bath salts making a big comeback?
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719410799719092225
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719411185968365568
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719411412221734912
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719411841663774720
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719412246493970433
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719412465067560960
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719412555622588417
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719412752750682112
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719413394080665601
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719413598989262849
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719413915524984833
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719414172388339712
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719414848518561793
Damn, dude. David Lynch himself couldn’t have directed this horrorshow. “You get to drive away” indeed, my friend.
But we do have one more question…
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719415146377060356
Ah, yep. Should have guessed.
Update 3:12pm CT, April 11: Seems not everyone is buying Raby’s story. Suddenly everyone’s a milkshake truther?
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719597345470607360
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719531242866282496
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719606910803185664
@JennMurch @JoshRaby there are literally two pie boxes right there.
— Rev (@RevengeanceQD) April 11, 2016
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719612954967191553
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719613872244703232
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719616681258180608
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719616928759881728
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719621286415245312
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719621587754946560
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719621839484559360
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719624512799698944
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719624852710244352
Whatever happens next, Raby did finally get his milkshake.
Look who got his shake! @JoshRaby you're welcome pic.twitter.com/z715LXLyte
— emily corinne💕 (@emily_corinne17) April 11, 2016
Also, do stay turned for the porn version of this timeless tale.
https://twitter.com/TVMaury/status/719590409081647104
Also, he probably made the whole thing up. Sorry about that.
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/719637715504009218
Update 11:00am CT, April 13: He didn’t make the whole thing up! But a lot of Raby’s drive-thru adventure was, admittedly, what we in the media game like to call “not 100 percent true.”
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/720252524423462912
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/720253199937101824
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/720253628817125380
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/720254201587179522
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/720255288125820930
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/720256825917054976
https://twitter.com/JoshRaby/status/720257447680720896
Of course, it’s already far too late for this confession. We’ll never stop believing.