Kids may say the darndest things, but as often as not, it’s the parents who find themselves uttering unlikely phrases as they attempt to wrangle their progeny. Rather than lose these magical sentences to the dustbin of history, Iowa dad Nathan Ripperger is illustrating them in posters that would make fine additions to any family home—available on Etsy.

Whether it’s trouble with bathroom routines, inappropriate public behavior, or one sibling’s inventive tortures for a little brother, there’s no shortage of odd imperatives and questions.

Illustrations via Nathan Ripperger/Flickr
 

It’s only a matter of time before Ripperger has spoken enough fatherly wisdom to create a child-rearing guide that anticipates every bizarre impulse a miniature human can have. Then couples considering having their own might know what they’re getting into.  

H/T @MeredithFrost | Photo by Simon Dean/Flickr