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Love sprays eternal in the No. 1 Craigslist missed connection of New Year’s Eve

It was love at first slight dampness.

 

Miles Klee

Internet Culture

Posted on Jan 2, 2014   Updated on May 31, 2021, 10:29 pm CDT

It was love at first slight dampness.

Everybody enters the new year with a lasting few regrets about the old, but, clearly sick of wondering what might have been, a young woman of Bloomington, Indiana, has resolved to let no truth go unsaid and no potential soul mate run off into the night—whether he needs a change of pants or not.

Why even try to do this missed connection justice? It’s the most compelling romance of our time, as well as an early contender for the best Craigslist post of 2014. If we can’t get these two kids back together, there’s no hope for the rest of us.

You – 5’8 scruffy, glasses, wearing a blue hoodie outside the Vid and I asked you for a lighter. You lit my cigarette and we talked about our wishes for the new year. We heard the countdown starting and decided to stay outside. I started to cry and you kissed me, and then we started to make out. After a minute I felt something warm and realised that you pissed yourself. I pushed you away and that’s when you ran but I wish you had stayed. You peed on me but it’s OK! I just want to know who you are! Please reply and when you do tell me why I started crying so I know it’s you – if you remember.

The loneliness, the cigarettes, the countdown outside in the cold, the crying, the kissing, the pissing—it has all the elements of a blockbuster rom-com starring Jessica Biel and Topher Grace, don’t you think? What a great story to tell their kids someday.

Photo by Kai Marius-Pederson/Flickr

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*First Published: Jan 2, 2014, 12:35 pm CST