If you ask the fine, cultured folks of Reddit for suggestions on what people should do every day, you can expect to receive a full, diverse list of activities and routines designed to maximize one’s time and life experiences.
Who are we kidding? You’ll find repetitive wiseass answers from troll after troll.
When redditor Sykedelic posed the question to the r/AskReddit community on Oct. 13, honest redditors’ responses offered constructive and productive ideas. ” Organize 5 minutes of quietness and alone time ,” for example. Or, just simply, “Smile.”
However, such queries are trolls’ time to shine, and this thread was no exception. In no time, other redditors began to piggyback on some of the most-upvoted replies, amending them to work in–specifically–flossing and masturbating. After all, aren’t these the two best routines for people to follow each and every day?
“Pay somebody a compliment, whether it be on a nice smile, a cute outfit, or whatever,” well-meaning redditor malleus_maleficarum suggested.
“I…like your…uh…floss?” Incinirmatt replied.
“Now all you have to do is masturbate,” Spineless_McGee said.
“Hold the door open for someone,” Thatsmyjobnow suggested.
“So they don’t have to stop flossing,” BipolarPig added.
“So they can get to masturbating,” agonzal7 said.
You get the idea.
Reddit gold was being thrown around left and right, rewarding those who were not only quick to the draw, but who could work in flossing or masturbating in the most clever way possible. For example, when PuzzledJoker offered the suggestion “Take about 5 minutes and try to find something to be thankful for,” scooper1030 earned his Reddit gold by replying, “Can I be thankful for floss?”
If you want an entertaining read, we highly suggest checking out this thread. Just make sure you floss first. And then masturbate.
Image via Rob Boudon/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)