Why are we all sexting at work on Tuesday morning?

What are you guys doing right now? Driving into work? Getting settled in at your desks? Going over the latest numbers? Or are you surreptitiously taking off your panties in a bathroom stall and flashing your latest Tinder fling a glimpse of your undercarriage? That’s right, you dirty, dirty bird. I see you.

According to a survey by the computer-tracking software company Retina X Studios, the latter scenario is more common than it seems. That’s because the survey, which polled a little more than 4,000 people, found that peak sexting hours are between the work hours of 10am and noon on a Tuesday.

The revelation that peak sexting takes place during a period where we’re all supposed to be at work and doing our part to hold the gossamer-thin fabrics of society together is surprising, to say the least. After all, one would assume that most people are sending their naughty texts around, say, 10pm to midnight on a Friday, when you’re sufficiently boozed up to snap a photo of your chesticles to the IT guy you’ve been secretly banging on the reg.

But no! Apparently, we’re all sexting at work on Tuesday mornings, because, I dunno, we’ve waited out the two to three days necessary to wait before texting someone you slept with over the weekend? Because the smell of Xerox machines and toner cartridges and Folgers coffee have an aphrodisiacal effect? Because we’re all really, really jazzed about that episode of Teen Wolf we saw Monday night?

Ultimately, there doesn’t seem to be any reason or rhyme to the Tuesday morning statistic. But for the sake of our employers—and for the sake of our officemates, who might stroll by our desk to ask when we’re filing this damn story, and end up stumbling on us in flagrante delicto with our cellphones—it’s probably best to just get it the eff together and save the sexting for Wednesday night.

H/T Betabeat | Photo by wiros/flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)