Porn star Rocco Siffredi is swearing off sex until Italy wins the World Cup
Abstaining from sex before a game doesn’t significantly improve the quality of your performance. But that hasn’t stopped Olympians and World Series pitchers from pledging not to give their junk a workout before a big event.
The latest public figure to take a vow of chastity before the big game is not an athlete, but Italian porn star and gonzo director Rocco Siffredi, who is promising to abstain from all sexual activity as a show of support for his country’s soccer team during the World Cup.
Proving that A) Italians take the World Cup really seriously, and B) Italians take the World Cup really seriously, Siffredi posted a video on his Facebook page pledging not to have sex until after the tournament.
The video is in Italian, and the title roughly translates to “A global sacrifice: My vow of chastity for Italy’s victory.”
In the video, Siffredi says, “Guys, I’ve had thousands of orgasms. But there’s one that I’ll never forget: the orgasm I had with all of you, when we won the World Cup in 2006. Now, for that collective orgasm [to happen again], I’m ready to go without my orgasms.”
To that end, he’s planning to go without sex during the entire time that the Italian team is at the World Cup—a sacrifice, he says, that will all but ensure Italia’s victory in Brazil. (Had the fascist Italian army adopted Siffredi’s battle strategy in the 1930s and ’40s, one wonders if the outcome of World War II would’ve been different).
A veteran adult performer and director who’s shot more than 1,000 films, Siffredi retired from the industry as a performer in 2004, only to return in front of the camera in 2009. He’s both beloved and notorious in his home country for performing rough sex acts on camera, such as, according to his Wikipedia, hair-pulling, choking, spanking, and “irrumatio” (you can Google that).
So can he hold out until the end of the World Cup? If Italy makes it to the championship game, that could be more than a month from today. We’ll know better after we see Italy face off against England in their first match this Saturday. But until then, as Siffredi acknowledges, he’s about to face some “hard times—very hard.” Good luck to both the Italian squad and Rocco Siffredi’s penis this week!
H/T Vice | Screengrab via Rocco Siffredi/YouTube
Confederate flag parade goes beautifully wrong
They earned it.9.2k
Rick Astley's 'Uptown Funk' cover is better than a rickroll
We're glad we never gave up Astley.9.1k
Texas' attorney general says county clerks can refuse to marry gay couples
Texas' top law-enforcement official isn't giving up.6.5k
Girl Scouts launch fundraiser after major donor requested money not be 'used to support transgender girls'
Controversial $100,000 donation returned.
Envy run back to the top, stymie Ninjas
EnvyUs returned to the winner’s circle at Gfinity Masters.94