A question like "How do all popular drugs feel?" would only work on a site as broad and demented as Reddit, where users have confessed crimes as mindboggling as murder and rape and written scenes so compelling they've turned into Hollywood movies.

Here are Reddit's drug stories, arranged by quality of prose:

Heroin

Ex heroin junky here, this is what heroin is like.

You are stuck out on a park bench in the middle of December. You have no place to go, no family or friends, you've gotten all the money, and stolen items out of them that you can. You're cold, alone, you stink, but you don't have the energy or means to take a shower. Then somehow you procure enough money to buy a bag (generally by hooking other people up and ripping them off a bit, overcharging, etc.) So you go to your dealers, buy a bag, find some spot that is relatively closed off. (There have been exceptions to this, one time on a side walk I threw my coat over my upper body and did it with people a few feet from me.) You go through your ritual, get the shot prepared, spend 20 mins to an hour to find a vein that hasn't collapsed or shrunken from the cold, on once you register, and see that blood come back into the brownish tube, you push the plunger in and hope beyond hope you didn't miss. Then it happens. You start feeling warm, not actually warm but the kind of warm where you're cold and someone gives you the most comfortable blanket you've ever felt, and inside, underneath that brown blanket you realize "Hey, my life's not so bad." Every worry you've ever had is gone, seemingly never to return. "Ahh, this is nice." You think to yourself. "I'm just going to take a quick nap, then get up and go shower at the Y.M.C.A, and then go apply at that job downtown I used to go to college for, what was that? Civil engineering maybe? Alright, twenty minutes then I'll get up.

8 HOURS LATER: You are stuck out on a park bench in the middle of December. You have no place to go, no family or friends... Rinse and repeat. Everyday, for the rest of your life. That is what heroin is like. (WAZMURDER)

Ecstasy

A very manic kind of high. You know how sometimes your foot is tapping to a song and you are like totally nailing the drum line? Scale that up to some balling dance moves and that's ecstasy. Makes you really thirsty. Really alters your perception of risk/impulse control, especially on fundamental stuff like warmth, hydration, etc. Didn't do it much, didn't experience any kind of hangovers other than some physical soreness/stiffness, but I am a hydration freak. (Probably_Nice)

Molly

Every wall you've built up is now gone. The best way to describe it is being made of 100% confidence. If somebody asks you a question you'll be honest with them in a matter of fact way, because you're confident that whatever your true answer is, is perfectly fine. It's actually like a truth serum. At the same time you just feel great. Everything is better. That song you love, well you really fucking love it right now. You have no problems with anybody. That guy you don't like that much, he's not so bad. A matter of fact, you see all his redeeming qualities. He has no redeeming qualities? Fuck it, nobody is perfect. You'll probably tell him he's a swell guy, too. You're also very attentive but also very calm. When you walk, you walk with confidence, and maybe a calm swagger. You see a guy with a sweet shirt on, you'll tell him it's a dope shirt and you'll fist pound him. No problem. You can talk to anybody, easily.

It makes you the version of you that you wish you were all the time. You can't be like that all the time, though. Just like any substance that alters you in any way, you have to realize this. (HeyZeusHChrist)

Salvia

Out of nowhere, it creeps into your muscles. You MUST sit down. Moving is OUT of the question. Suddenly, reality starts to slice in half. What that means is, you begin to see the multiple folds and dimensions inside of a simple radiator. The room is kind of shaking, but there are eyes in the folds of these vibrations that are staring at you. And in order to keep your sanity, you must show respect to the plant and to the gods, and know that they mean you no harm on this brief journey. You might see music coming out of the speakers (for me, the music looked like rubber duckies and sailboats flying out of the speakers).

But the best way to describe it, is it feels like you're in a 16-bit SNES game. Specifically, Super Mario Kart. Specifically, Bowser's Castle. It's like that. Looking forward you see the regular world, yet somehow right behind your eyes (the divide between reality and the salvia world) is the Bowser's Castle racetrack from Super Mario Kart. Also, your body feels very hot, but it's not too bad." (n00bermensch)

Shrooms

The visuals i've gotten on mushrooms seem to be more profound, in the sense that i wasn't fully "conscious" as i was seeing them, because i didn't know what was going on. They include but are not limited to: -A mountain/plateau of worm-like beings emitting out of my friends yard like a triple decker wedding cake. about 10-15 feet in diameter. -while walking in the road of a neighborhood, the road extended for miles, further than we could see, and kept going, resembling a never ending journey. -Dancing mailboxes and trashcans. Well, the mailboxes really just kind of watched us, and followed by turning to face us as we walked/drove by. But the trashcans definitely grew little feet and started doing jigs. (imbiggiesmallz)

LSD

I stood on the infinite shores of galaxies and watched waves of time come crashing down all around me. I then understood how life worked, and how I was a part of everything, from the people around me to the stars in the sky to the parts in between. A complete oneness of being and existing with everything and nothingness.

A good trip on acid like that is transformative. You come out the other side somehow changed. I've never had a bad trip on acid, but I've had ones that were just decent and goofy and funny. I think it really depends on how much you take. (flux123)

Meth

You're sexy and hot. You're charming and you can talk for hours. You have so much energy you can do anything. You're so fucking smart. Is that your fourth cigarette in ten minutes? It's not a body high, but a mental one. You think you're fucking amazing. You also won't shut up. Food tastes disgusting, you can stay up for days and if you're a guy don't have sex since your dick takes a long time to get hard. Adding Viagra to counteract that to have sex makes it amazing. Your orgasm never felt better. You want to fuck every one. You keep popping them until they're out. People are amazing. Horrible crash but you don't really fiend. Ultimate mental high. (Cunt_Wasp_Supreme)

Cocaine

you feel a rush that everything that needs to be done in your life is easily and enjoyably accomplishable in that moment. Everything is eye of the tiger, get that shit done mode. (Orangecement)

Marijuana

marijuana makes your brain feel fuzzy. I mean that in the most literal sense. Like your brain feels like a big fuzzy ball inside your head. (prototypetolyfe)

DMT

OMG WTF...THE COLORS ARE ENERGY, I CAN HEAR SMELLS...aaaand its gone. (ZeusMcFly)

Photo via Chuck Grimmett/Flickr