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13 pieces of Etsy swag to help you mourn the Confederate flag

The flag's days are numbered. But you can still show your racist pride, thanks to these Etsy vendors.

 

Marisa Kabas

IRL

Posted on Jun 23, 2015   Updated on May 28, 2021, 12:30 pm CDT

It took the senseless massacre of nine innocent people at a historic black church in South Carolina for the state’s government to decide it might be time to remove the Confederate flag from the capitol grounds.

Gov. Nikki Haley called for the flag’s removal from the state capitol grounds on Monday, stating: “For good and for bad, whether it is on the statehouse grounds or in a museum, the flag will always be a part of the soil of South Carolina. But this is a moment in which we can say that that flag … does not represent the future of our great state.”

It might seem like a small gesture, but the flag is a powerful symbol of racial oppression, symbolizing the ideology that motivated 21-year-old Dylann Roof to open fire at the Emanuel AME Church in Charleston. 

In addition to Gov. Haley’s statement, Walmart has also announced its stores will no longer sell Confederate flag-themed merchandise. But if you’re a racist, you can still show your support of the “symbol of a 150-year-old insurrection movement,” as the Daily Dot’s Kevin Collier put it, by purchasing some of this sweet, sweet Southern pride swag on Etsy.

Having company over? Lay out your best towels to ensure your guests know on which side of the Mason-Dixon line your loyalties lie.

These salt and pepper shakers are literally the bomb.

Robert E. Lee would rock this case if he had an iPhone at the Battle of Antietam.

You might have to hide this flask under the table while you get drunk during Thanksgiving dinner, but you’d never hide your love for the Confederacy.

Shelly and Clint want you to know two things: they are very much in love and they love the Confederacy.

Because you can’t have the neighbors thinking your dog is a dirty Yankee.

“U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi. You ugly. Yea, Yea, you ugly!”—the Confederacy to the Union.

Probably not! But fun belt buckle.

Ah, the rare Confederate hipster. He wraps his arms in tattoos and his heart in the flag.

Combine the current nail art trend with the 1860 Confederate flag trend, and you’ll truly be the coolest girl in school.

Show me a better way to spend $225.

Too real.

Saves you the time explaining to women at bars that you’re a bonafide asshole.

Update 2.23pm CT, June 23: The Daily Dot has learned that Etsy plans on banning all Confederate flag items. They sent a statement via email:

Today, we are removing confederate flag items from our marketplace. Etsy’s policies prohibit items or listings that promote, support or glorify hatred and these items fall squarely into that category.

With each new application of our policies, we strive to strike the right balance between creative freedom, Etsy’s values, and establishing a safe and respectful marketplace for members. The challenge of defining and eliminating offensive items raises deep and complex issues — both philosophical and pragmatic — which we at Etsy wrestle with regularly. We strive to think about our site holistically and determine what is best for the entire community.

Due to the nature of our platform, it is possible that a prohibited item may appear for sale on the site before our enforcement teams have a chance to remove it. Members are welcome to report these items to us; we have a timely review process for all reports.

You can find the list of other items that are prohibited on Etsy here. We are continuously reviewing our policies to ensure they are in line with our values, and they will continue to evolve accordingly. 

Photo via Etsy

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*First Published: Jun 23, 2015, 12:20 pm CDT