This post contains some semi-NSFW images.

Clips4sale.com: the No. 1 website for amateur fetish porn on demand, where there’s no such thing as a weird request. The phrase “seedy underbelly” comes to mind, but it’s also oddly captivating: a rare look into the rich and diverse range of interests that humanity has to offer. Probably. 

Thanks to a Tumblr account called clips4sale.txt, we’ve managed to locate some of the most enthrallingly bizarre videos offered on the site. As the blog’s bio puts it, these video descriptions come from “the depths of the Internet’s id.”

The first thing to understand is that porn isn’t always necessarily... porn.


 

As clips4sale.txt succinctly explains, “Someone is fetishizing everything you do.” The Clips4sale homepage is full of links to MILF and foot-fetish videos, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There’s something for everyone, even if you want to see someone burp while “chugging highly caloric hemp milk.” Or spend six straight minutes watching a woman light matches off her fingernails:

This is a Custom Clip. Someone sent me 4 boxes of matchbooks today. What am I supposed to do with them? Save them for the rainy day? Fuck no. I’m gonna play with them, light each single match at a time. Let the flame engulf the tiny wood and shake to put out the fire. I’m going to do this over and over.

via clips4saletxt

That’ll be $6.99, thanks. But if you’re more into water than fire, there’s always this one (sics all around):

I drink a wole bottle of fresh water. Get really close to my throat that you can se the best how the cold water goes in my moth and then trew the throat upside. After finishing the whole bottle my belly is round and full of water.

Oh, and for $8.99, you can buy a nine-minute video of someone inflating and then popping plastic bags. “This,” the description explains, “is strictly a blow-to-pop video.”

Someone, somewhere, should probably be writing a thesis on the requests found on Clips4sale.com. Particularly the subgenre of videos featuring women acting in a way that can only be described as paralytically stupid. It turns out that there are plenty of people who are willing to pay good(ish) money to watch women get their heads stuck between couch cushions and in laundry hampers, look “dazed” or concussed, accidentally stick themselves to the floor with glue, or get trapped inside a bedsheet. 

Ludella Hahn has fallen and is now completely stuck to the floor—hands, feet, ass—all in glue. The scene fades to black with Ludella’s fate unknown.

Here's that hamper, in GIF form:

GIF via clips4saletxt

After a few minutes of browsing the fetish esoterica of Clips4sale.txt, you find yourself wondering if everything you do is potentially turning someone on, somewhere. It’s Rule 34 brought to life. But mostly, we’re curious to know if there’s such a thing as a fetish for poor spelling and grammar. Because if there is, then they’re definitely going to love this site. 

Photo via clips4saletxt/Tumblr