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Keep it in the family.

In the midst of the Christmas consumer frenzy, we sometimes lose sight of what makes the holiday so special: the chance to get together with your extended family and ogle some hot cousins. Over the course of the holiday, blogger Jeb Lund, @Mobute on Twitter, was retweeting examples of such pseudo-stalking almost as fast as people were admitting to it:

Who knew that the doomed attraction between Arrested Development’s George Michael Bluth and Maeby Fünke, star-crossed cousins who struggled to resist hooking up, was such a prevalent phenomenon? Well, probably the rest of the globe—10 percent of marriages worldwide are between people who share at least one grandparent. In the Middle East, where such relationships are practically encouraged, that figure is closer to 50 percent. 

The taboo against these matches, it turns out, is a relatively recent development in Western culture, but it’s been firmly entrenched: The Internet reacted to these horny confessions with a collective and resounding “Ha, gross.” But the naïve willingness to go public with such information, combined with a few other factors (see below), make us wonder if the frenzy of puberty isn’t the real culprit behind such inappropriate thoughts.

At any rate, you now have another year to regroup and think about how to impress your hot cousin, who by the time you meet again will no doubt be hotter than you remember. There’s always the off chance that in the interval, they’ll meet someone hot who isn’t a blood relative, though I’d be very surprised if they threw away what the two of you already have. It’s fate.    

Photo by ursla/Flickr

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