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Illustration by Max Fleishman

How to be successful on Tinder

Stop with the pictures from five years ago—that's just false advertising.

 

Nia Wesley

IRL

Posted on Aug 8, 2016   Updated on May 26, 2021, 7:42 am CDT

So you’re on the hunt for that special someone and you finally jump on the Tinder bandwagon. Maybe you aren’t looking for anything past friends with benefits or you’re just putting yourself out there after a failed relationship to regain confidence. Either way, your guide to lasting success on Tinder is here to land you some dates.

Check out these six tips to make the most of your Tinder experience.

1) Let the pictures do most of the talking.

Instead of writing a short story about all of your hobbies and what you look for in a partner, let your pictures do the talking. Reserve at least two to three of your six pictures for selfies or decent photos that let people get a good look at your face. Try to use a picture of yourself stepping out in something spiffy or the last great selfie you took when the lighting was ordained by the big guy himself. The remaining pictures should show you participating in a hobby or your passion. Use pictures that make you look fun and outgoing.

2) Picture do’s and don’ts.

Stay away from pictures that are more than three or four years old. That’s false advertising. And don’t go overboard with pictures of you and your dog. And for those who are just using the app for sex, enough with the neck-down poses and close-ups of your boxers. It’s just gross, awkward, and a reflection of your maturity level. Don’t know where to start? Try using pictures from your social media profiles that have received the most likes.

3) About me: Less is more

So you’re pretty overwhelmed about how you’re supposed to let your prospects know all the great things about yourself without sounding pompous or having word vomit. Less is more. Leave a little to the imagination but tell enough to keep them wanting more. Keep it at two to three sentences and definitely under a paragraph. And the checklists have got to go. You’re not an insurance package and neither is the person you’re looking for. The more you go overboard with “requirements” for the ideal partner, the less successful you’ll be in the dating game. That goes for on- and offline.

4) Keep an open mind

Attraction may be the first step, but it’s not the last. Chemistry and compatibility will outlast those dreamy eyes and a smile that makes you go weak at the knees. That doesn’t mean you should go crazy swiping right, but if someone is just short of your “cuteness” standards but they meet all of your other markers, give it a chance. It’s scientifically proven that attraction can develop overtime when you grow intimate with a person.

5) Get the conversation started!

There’s no need to be shy behind the keyboard. This is an opportunity to flex your social skills before the nerves of an in-person interaction. Let your guard down. Show your personality. And for heaven’s sake, think of something else besides “You’re really beautiful” to get the conversation going. She gets that all the time. Maybe start with a joke or a fun ice breaker.

6) How to flirt: Confidence is key

Flirting is all about confidence. It’s more than complimenting someone’s looks or hinting at dirty jokes. Emphasize the things you have in common and show your confidence along the way. Sure, you’re no super model or Leonardo DiCaprio, but neither are the rest of us. The truth is, there’s someone for everyone. Be confident in your own arena and know that there’s someone out there that would be grateful to have you in their life. Confidence really shines through and it’s very attractive.


These tips should definitely get the ball rolling on your Tinder excursion. On an app that let’s users be at their shallowest, it’s important to keep an open mind. Whether you’re looking for Mrs. Right or Mr. Right now, being yourself is the key to success.

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*First Published: Aug 8, 2016, 8:34 am CDT