After three months of gratuitous shirtless scenes, unexplained character deaths, gravity-defying werewolf fights, and Sterek, it’s time for Teen Wolf’s midseason finale. After this, the show isn’t back until January 2014, so we felt it was only fair to share our Teen Wolf drinking game. You know, to numb the pain.
Disclaimer: While the midseason finale was leaked online last week, we haven’t watched it yet. These rules were created without any spoilers for the episode, or even for the trailer. Don’t worry, we wouldn’t be that cruel.
Take a sip if...
- Anyone takes off his shirt.
- Stiles’s eyes glisten with tragic, unshed tears.
- Someone uses a totally pointless martial arts move like leaping against a wall, or backflipping over something they could’ve just walked around.
- Peter Hale acts like a Disney villain but someone trusts him anyway.
- A student at Beacon Hills High is clearly a 24-year-old Abercrombie & Fitch model.
- Any scene inexplicably takes place in the boys’ locker room. (Double if it’s at night.)
- Lydia is smarter than everyone else in the room.
- The twins rip off their shirts and transform into the Werewolf Megazord.
- Obvious product placement onscreen.
- Dr. Deaton gets some dialogue that isn’t frustratingly cryptic and/or an explanation of something we already knew.
- Anything remotely good happens to Derek.
- Isaac’s personality oscillates wildly between “adorable yet traumatised child” and “horny murderer.”
- Isaac looks like he wants to make out with someone totally inappropriate, like Chris Argent.
- Allison saves someone’s life.
- Deucalion or Gerard Argent yells something 100 percent ridiculous while lightning crashes in the background.
- Homoerotic tension.
- Blatant plot hole.
Screengrab via Teen Wolf Wiki
Down your entire drink if...
- Stiles takes off his shirt.
- One of the three remaining parents is killed off. (You’ll need it.)
- Someone Pokémon-evolves into a new werewolf upgrade.
- Ghost Victoria Argent shows up.
- Jennifer Blake is (partially) redeemed and/or makes out with Derek anyway.
- Any kind of major plot arc is actually resolved.
- A female character or POC is killed off, while white male characters (ie, Deucalion) remain unharmed.
- Anyone dies or turns out to be evil to further Derek Hale’s manpain.
- Sterek happens.
Follow these rules, and you should be able to withstand anything that the mid-season finale throws your way, be it a major character death, a new and improved selection of plot holes, or (far less likely) a Stiles Stilinski shirtless scene. Drink up, and adjourn to Tumblr for group therapy tomorrow morning.