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Welcome to Canuckistan. Here's your double-double, here's your Cowichan sweater, here's your two-four of Canadian slowly turning into beer slushies in the back of the car, and here is your curling broom. You know what to do.
In curling-mad Canada, it's easy to pass as a native. All you need are a coffee from Tim Horton's (double cream, double sugar, what the heck, health care is free eh!); a heavy, water-and-snow-repellent traditional sweater; a loyalty to domestic beers that transcends mere standards of taste; and an active, almost overwhelming interest in the sport of curling.
It's like giant shuffleboard, but on ice, because Canada.