wedding rings

Married people invade singles dating sites

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Beth Cook is a dating coach and wing-woman who throws private dating events for San Francisco’s most awesome and unattached. She also writes and draws about her own dating experiences and would love to hear from you. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.

The other day, I was taking to a friend about her OkCupid dating life and she mentioned that a guy we both know popped up in one of her searches.

Noooooo, I howled!

This guy is adorable, sweet, charming…and married. He’s the kind of man that girls imagine living happily ever after with — until they catch him cruising around a dating website.

Asshole.

The same day I got an email from a new online dating company, TheComplete.me, proving that married dudes and chicks are swarming these singles sites. They explained that last week they “rejected 15% of new registrations because their Facebook relationship status was ‘married’.”

Isn’t anything sacred anymore?!

Well, I guess marriage never was to some people. But still, in this day and age no one is forcing you to tie the knot and promise fidelity forever. You can play polyamorously, date a different person each night, kiss your cousins, and no one will care. Just keep your damn word if you tell someone that you will be theirs, and only theirs, until one of you dies.

I know it’s not easy— but that’s the point! It’s not easy to go to the gym, pretend chicken tastes delicious, or limit your booze intake either, but you feel damn good when you do. It’s a trade off.

In marriage, you don’t get to have sex with other people BUT you get the undying love, support, friendship, companionship, etc., etc. from the partner you thought was the most special person ever (remember?). You do not get to have your cake and eat it too. And if you try, you might end up very miserable, medicated, single, and in debt.

Ask yourself, is it worth it?

It’s not like you’re the first person on earth who has found monogamy challenging. Many, many men and women have found a livable solution: online porn and romance novels. Entertain yourself.

Photo by firemedic58