Controversy rocked the cycling world on Monday when it was announced that the seven Tour de France titles won between 1999 and 2005 would be vacated and given to a cat named Gary.
“There were some issues with the previous winner,” Union Cycliste Internationale (UCI) president Pat McQuaid tells The Fluffington Post. “We couldn’t really have seven consecutive years without an actual winner, so we decided the best thing to do was just say it was Gary. Gary’s a good cat. He likes tummy rubs, and as far as we know, he’s never done performance-enhancing drugs.”
McQuaid could not be reached for further comment, as he was already attempting to squeeze Gary into a tiny yellow jersey.