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5 lessons from Madonna's one-night stand on Twitter

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Madonna, the struggling queen of pop, held court via Twitter on Monday night. What did we learn? She is probably the least interesting person in the world.

In honor of her new album, MDNA, the singer fielded questions for about two hours from fans, trolls, and celebrities on her one-time-use only Twitter account, @MadonnaMDNADay. The account blossomed to 42,000 followers—or just 21.6 million shy of Lady Gaga’s Twitter account—but who’s counting?

Here five things we learned about Madonna, all of which are best read in a faux-British accent:

1. Deadmau5 and Madonna are fine.

Madonna made up with Deadmau5, the Canadian DJ who lambasted Madge over her alleged drug reference at the Ultra Music Fest on Saturday. She tweeted a picture of herself dressed in deadmau5’s signature mouse ears tweeting “I don’t support drug use and I never have.” Madonna’s drug is her constant grasp for attention, anyway.

2. Madonna will say anything to make her appear “normal.”

Madonna lives a well-deserved lavish lifestyle, but on Twitter, she doesn’t want to remind you of that. Her favorite New York City neighborhood is “Brooklyn. Williamsburg.” She loves Captain Crunch cereal and is selling her fragrance “Truth or Dare” at Macy’s, to which @AlexSalmsi responded “fake bitch.” Isn’t Twitter fun?

3. Madonna probably won’t join Twitter permanently.

Gossip blogger and recovering semen artist Perez Hilton asked Madonna if she will join the Twitter party permanently. She responded: “@PerezHilton but then you'll get used to me and take me for granted.” 

4. She said one nice thing about Lady Gaga!

Madonna called Lady Gaga’s song, “Born This Way,” as “reductive” in a recent interview, but it’s not all bad between the dueling pop stars. A question from @KuntyPerry, naturally, asked Madonna on how she feels about bullying and Lady Gaga’s work with the Born This Way Foundation, and Madonna was so chill about it. “I applaud @ladygaga support of the gay community and her commitment to stop bullying,” responded Madonna. Do I smell an MTV Video Music Award performance/make out session soon?

5. Madonna would be bad at Draw Something.

If you had the opportunity to ask an A-lister anything in the world, surely it would be better than “are you a good drawer?” Not for @RicardoM3000, who asked that question to which Madonna simply responded “no.” Oh, well then.

Photo via @MadonnaMDNADay