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Photo by Premier Holiday Solutions

These awful robots will not help during Christmas, but they’re hilarious

Don't let your children near these things.

 

John-Michael Bond

Tech

Posted on Dec 22, 2016   Updated on May 25, 2021, 8:21 am CDT

Everyone wants to make the holidays a little easier, even if it means utilizing a robot that puts the family in possible danger. As such Premier Holiday Solutions is your go-to source to robotics that (mostly) work. Sure, they might wildly swing a box cutter, but these wonderful, goofy robots are a pure love letter to experimentation. 

That they help wrap your gifts, serve your guests, and hang your Christmas lights is just gravy.

Each of these four robots is (not actually) available for sale from Premier Holiday Solutions. Behold the Christmas glory of these dangerous, adorable holiday robots.

1) Present Perfect: A robot that sort of wraps your presents

Everyone loves opening presents, but not many of us enjoy wrapping them by hand. There’s got to be a better way! At the moment there isn’t, but until there is we’ll settle for the Present Perfect. It’s is a robot that will wrap your gifts with the grace of a wounded toddler, but your gifts will get wrapped. Just stay far enough away that the robotic arms don’t gut you while they wave around a box cutter.

2) Lazy Alexa: A smart lazy Susan that will mostly serve your guests

Lazy Alexa is way kinder a name than the traditional Lazy Susan. That’s already a plus. The Lazy Alexa is a reconfigured Amazon Alexa that has been programmed to spin food around a table via voice activation. Once the Lazy Alexa has put the food in front of you, it serves you via catapult or by spinning so fast food flies everywhere. Things went haywire sometimes on The Jetsons. Why do you think you’re better than the Jetsons?

3) Flightlight: The drone that hangs your Christmas lights

Do you love decorating your tree but hate getting the ladder out to get those hard-to-reach spots? The Flightlight is an app-activated drone that will do the lights for you. Show the drone where on the tree you want the drone to put Christmas lights, and the drone will do its best. Sometimes that means knocking the tree over, but come on. We’re dealing with science here. Who hasn’t knocked over a Christmas tree in the pursuit of knowledge before?

4) Festivitree: A Tesla-inspired, self-driving Christmas tree that stalks you around your home

Of all these robotic wonders, the Fetivitree is easily the one I’m saddest I don’t know. Whether you live alone or merely love scaring your pets, the idea of a Christmas tree that follows you from room to room is a wonderful one. This particular execution might leave a few things to be desired, for example we imagine it knocks over a lot of drinks, but it’s the thought that counts. You’ve never had a self-driving tree before. How do you know it could be better than this.

Premier Holiday Solutions has a wonderful sense of humor about its creations, knowing that their existence is special even if their function might still be in the beta mode. For robotics fans and home builders, these robots are a true burst of Christmas cheer, and would be a welcome addition to almost any home (without small children who could be killed by the Present Perfect, or run over by the tree). 

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*First Published: Dec 22, 2016, 7:17 pm CST