Beth Cook is a dating coach and throws private dating events for San Francisco’s most awesome and unattached. She also writes and draws about her own dating experiences. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.
A friend just sent me a link to one of the most offensive things I've ever read about dating: 10 Reasons Bros Should Join OKCupid.
To the guys who wonder why guys get a bad name, this is why.
According to “Walt,” the author who lacks the balls to include a last name (or even a real first name), the 10 reasons that men should join OKCupid are: it's full of desperate chicks and college chicks with low standards; it's easy to send stock messages from your iPhone; it's free; you can search by the term "casual sex" plus a race or body type; the keys to a girl's pants are (supposedly) right there in her profile; there's a built-in “slut-dar” (e.g., survey results); it's safer than other casual sex sites because you can easily ditch chicks after you bang them; and, last and definitely least, because maybe you'll fall in love.
Now excuse me while I go throw up.
My problem with “Walt” isn't his penchant for casual sex or his advocating that OKCupid is a wellspring of easy targets. It's that he is a Class A, misogynistic douchebag who is spreading the awful and far too familiar message that women who are online dating don't deserve respect or honesty.
I could go on, but what I really feel like doing is telling all of you single ladies out there how to spot bros like Walt online. I don’t want you to waste even 15 minutes of your life messaging with this guy—or worse, actually spend an hour or two with him in person.
Here’s what to look out for:
1) He’s wearing shades or a baseball hat—in every picture.
2) The age range he is interested in starts at 21, and he’s a hell of a lot older.
3) All of his photos feature him surrounded by porny-looking girls.
4) He drinks Keystone Light and Wild Turkey.
5) You receive an email that says you have "beautiful eyes and great taste in music."
6) He mentions in any way the fact that he "pounds beers.” (This also means he “bangs chicks.”)
7) He mentions being good at “pleasing a lady” in the bedroom.
8) He name-drops books and bands that you like without having the smarts to back 'em up--no actual details.
9) He mentions beer pong somewhere in his profile.
10) He has a photo of himself with his shirt off.
There you have it. If you encounter any of the above on OkCupid, surf far, far away!
And don’t let bros like Walt get you down. Their future is bleak. The best relationship they’ll have is with tall boy beers and football. Though sometimes guys like this make us feel it isn’t the case, the truth is there are plenty of good dudes out there. Guys who actually learned something in college, read books (for fun!), and know that the real key to a gal’s pants is honesty and—sing it, Aretha! R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Photo by Jeff Wright