The Kernel

Topics

Communities

Site

comics

Life at lightspeed

It’s been almost five years since he left, and Josh Miller happily realizes everyone he ever knew is most likely dead. He can finally return home.

Having grown tired of his pathetic friends and family back on Earth, Josh decided to take advantage of the dilation of time created by traveling at (close to) the speed of light, enabling him to easily outlive anyone he had ever met.

For each year he experienced traveling on his ship, 22 years will have occurred for everyone living on Earth, so over a century has now passed for everyone else but him… and he’ll land back on Earth still a young man, unencumbered with any ties to the past, eager to start anew.

Once he gets home he’ll have a quick crash course to get up to speed on what happened in the past century, maybe make a snack, and then get right to work creating a new circle of family and friends that hopefully won’t be as disappointing as the last group he was saddled with.

And if they’re annoying too, it’s not a huge deal… he’ll just blast off for another five years and try again.

(Starring Josh Miller of computer-gaze.tumblr.com!)

Top Stories

The forest amidst the lights and billboards of Times Square The forest amidst the lights and billboards of Times Square Advertisement
Forget the tree that grows in Brooklyn. This ecologist wants to plant a forest in Times Square.
Hillary Clinton Unlocking the real Hillary Clinton with Crystal's email-scanning algorithm
Apparently, she's primed to win arguments with Obama.
ashley madison Ashley Madison's parent company secretly operated an escort website
Avid Life Media leased the escort website in 2013 through a shell company.

Tech

Google Chrome pin Google Chrome just got a lot better with memory-saving updates
Chrome might finally be gold again.
Programmers This coding tool is like spell-check, but for racism, sexism, and homophobia
Alex will let you know when your code is inappropriate.
Oculus woman Virtual reality may one day control your body, rather than the other way around
Tiny jolts of electricity can control your muscles.
Apple and Samsung devices Samsung and Apple will face off in court yet again
Samsung's going to pay.
Apple may debut a larger, stylus-based 'iPad Pro' next week
Is Apple ready to launch the long-rumored iPad Pro?
new technics vinyl player mockup Panasonic is bringing back the classic Technics turntable
After a decade of hibernation, is it even possible to imagine how awesome this will be?
image of an exciting new iphone Here's what to expect from the iPhone 6s
The iPhone 6s is coming, and there's a lot to be excited about.

Politics

cellphone DOJ bans warrantless stingray cellphone surveillance by federal agents
The policies do not effect state and local police using the device.
Donald Trump signs legally meaningless GOP pledge not to run as an independent
'I will be totally pledging my allegiance to the Republican Party and the conservative principles for which it stands.'
Hackers hit conservative think tank that slammed Obama for OPM hack
The group is trying to tamp down concerns over the data that hackers accessed.
gwen ifill PBS anchor's trash-talking tweet draws network ire
Backlash to Gwen Ifill proves just how sensitive Obama's Iran Deal is.