Catalog Living offers a glimpse inside the lives of the people inhabiting your home furnishing catalogs. Who keeps jars of starfish in their bathroom? Who uses stacks of color-coordinated books as a bedside table? The answer is Gary and Elaine, the unseen and often clueless couple who live their lives according to the gospel of Pottery Barn and Crate & Barrel. There is now a Catalog Living book, Catalog Living at Its Most Absurd: Decorating Takes Wicker Balls.
Gary and Elaine stared mournfully at the starfish that had turned blue in the cold, innocent victims of Premature Seasonal Decorating.
Despite their slow-moving nature, the starfish knew that if they worked together they could successfully drag the Corona back to their lair.
Coming home early from her meeting, Elaine made a mental note that in the future it might be best to put the twine and mannequin somewhere Gary couldn't find them.
I appreciate your preparedness Gary, but I hope it never comes to the point where we need a fishing net and a pulley to get you out of bed.
Elaine, how come whenever I misplace my brown paper bag with the number 26 all over it, behind the lamp on my bedside table is always the last place I look?
I don't care how warm it is outside Elaine. We hired that pig to perform a job and now I'm going to have to pedal those flowers off the porch myself.
Yes, of course I've built a fire before, Elaine. Why do you ask?
I don't know, Elaine. When you said you needed a shelf for bathroom supplies, I guess I was picturing things like soap and toilet paper.
Doris the white chair wondered why she was always the one left holding the fruit and jar of rocks while the other chairs got to have all the fun chasing each other around.
As well as seasonal work paid, the chick couldn't help but feel his master's degree was being wasted.