Etsy Goatse-wreath seller wants to "jazz up your crap"

jazzcrap2a
Turning water into wine was pretty cool. But taking crappy gifts like an ashtray and turning it into a Dr. Who–inspired piece of art is truly a miracle.

Turning water into wine was pretty cool. But taking crappy gifts like an ashtray and turning it into a Dr. Who–inspired piece of art is truly a miracle.

That art was created by Etsy seller Cappy Sue, a self-proclaimed "penis-maker extraordinaire" who promises to transform any crappy gift into something better.

"The cost for a basic jazz up your crap service will be twenty bucks this will get you a very very redone item," Sue explained on Etsy. "The item must fit in a medium priority box as that is what I will be shipping it back to you in."

Sue's store is full of tastefully offensive gifts like Goatse wreath ornaments, an illustration of an octopus with penises for tentacles, and a painting of a very pregnant and naked Troll doll. She has sold 345 items since opening her store in October 2008.

"My shop came about because I have horrible nightmares almost daily," Sue writes on her Etsy about page. "So that is the story of my shop so far but my goal is to turn my little shop into the jumping off point for a little art world empire. That being said I would like it to grow but stay true to the outlandish humor never folding to the cupcake view of things when you take off all the real edge from the work. I hope to always be offending someone and making someone else laugh."

To date, Sue has only "jazzed" up three crappy gifts, including a wooden toy home and a photo frame of sorts. Check out the before and after photos below.

All photos by Cappy Sue/Etsy

Promoted Stories Powered by Sharethrough
Business
I'll take 1 T-shirt—and a unicorn vampire Viking with laser nipples
Packaging can be the most frustrating and ugly things people have to deal with around the holiday season. It’s something people rip and tear apart almost immediately, stuffing its paper-and-plastic remains deep into a wastebin, forever forgotten.
From Our VICE Partners
Group

Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.

Thanks for subscribing to our newsletter!